Today is May 30 and on May 28th I got what every mother does not want to get from the babysitter. THE DREADFULL CALL. My mother who is the babysitter along with my brother called me at work and the first thing she says to me is DONT BE SCARED BUT.... so of course I am terrified. Frankie my beautiful, so precious, innocent, perfect eyed, small, tiny not a care in the world because she has the best mama, 17 month old somehow smashed her little 2.5 inch left pinky. Her finger nail was off my mother said. I rushed there and back to the ER. I did not see the extent of the injury because it was wrapped in a bandage and wanted to get to emergent care as soon as possible. When the nurse took the bandage off I threw up in my mouth. I could not believe what I had saw. I dont even wanna explain how her little pinky looked. Thanks to God and how great he is to children she did not feel any pain to the er and while in the er. That is until they came in to give her four shots to numb her baby finger. Two shot in the front and two shots in the back. They stitched her "this little piggy went crying all the way home"back together. My brother feels so guilty its making him sick. My brother, whom means the world to me and my girls who will be the death of me, is in a fragile state himself. I love him so much. I have to be strong and put on a front that everything is so fine for him. But when I am alone I cry so hard. I cant sleep. Her finger keeps popping in my head. I wake up from dreaming about it. I cry in the shower. I want my girl to be able to paint all 10 fingernails, not 9. I am so mad why did this happen. I hate changing her dressing because I obviously relive the whole freak incident. The second time we where in the er this time Elizabeth was with me. We were waiting for the discharge papers and Eliz was watching me pace back and forth with Frankie in my arms so tight. She said so sure of herself "i will give my life for her". She made me stop in my tracks I could not beleive she just said that. Elizabeth can be pretty selfish. I told her would also in a heartbeat for them both and then we had a moment of tears.